


Becky

by HighWarlockIvy



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hurt Magnus Bane, Panic Attacks, Past Abuse, Past Rape, Rape, Triggers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-30
Updated: 2017-01-30
Packaged: 2018-09-20 20:53:14
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,295
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9515084
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HighWarlockIvy/pseuds/HighWarlockIvy
Summary: Alec meets someone from Magnus' past and learns something horrible. All he wants to do is make it better.





	

**Author's Note:**

> As requested by someone on my tumblr. 
> 
> If you've been through something like this, speak out. Don't be discouraged. There are people who will help you.
> 
> Triggers: Past rape, rape, past abuse, panic attacks

Alec and Magnus were cuddling on the couch on a Saturday morning, and it was raining. The rain droplets were pelting against Magnus' window. Alec was curled into Magnus' right side, and Magnus had his arms around him. They were listening to each other's breath and just enjoying each other's solace.

And it was nice; peaceful. The darkness from the cloudy sky made it all the more peaceful. The rain had a way of making the two sleepy and content with where they were.

Alec hadn't had any calls about demons and Magnus hadn't had anything to do with clients. 

They were finally getting some alone time. 

They'd been in this relationship for a few months now, and Magnus believed it to be going on three now. Magnus didn't think he could have fallen for someone so fast. Although Catarina and Ragnor tend to tell him that he does. 

He missed his little cabbage. Maybe he should visit his home in England today. See if he's around. 

Although that would mean leaving Alexander. Maybe he could take him with him. 

"You would have liked Ragnor," Magnus said, breaking the silence.

Alec frowned, confused. "Huh?"

Magnus chuckled, shaking his head. "Sorry, I was just thinking about him."

Alec felt his heart constrict just a little bit. He never got to meet Ragnor, and he figured out along the way that Ragnor was like a brother to Magnus. And he couldn't imagine losing Isabelle or Jace. 

He was sure this was hard for Magnus. He knew enough to know the smile on Magnus' face right now was fake.

Alec sat up, looking at Magnus. "I'm sorry," he said. 

Magnus just shrugged. "Sometimes things don't work out the way you wish them to. And... well, Ragnor meant a lot to me. He saved my life."

"Really?"

"Mhm, and he's not the only one. I've known lots of people who have saved my life and my sanity, he's just one of the few to actually stick around."

Alec nodded, wondering what that meant. "Like who?"

Magnus' eyes flickered, as if remembering one particular person. He didn't mention anything. He just plastered on his fake smile, and pulled Alec close. "It's nothing important, Alexander. Ragnor was important, and he's gone, but that's okay. I've mourned, and I know he's in a better place."

Alec knew that was some bull. Most Warlocks didn't go to wonderland after they died. Most of them went back to their fathers. 

But Alec didn't mention anymore on it. Just allowed Magnus to hold him until they both dozed off.

...

The doorbell woke them up two hours later, and the rain was still falling. There was lightening in the distance, and they knew there was a storm coming. 

Magnus groaned, waking Alec up as he stood to his feet and walked to the door. He opened it, and his heart stopped. 

What was she doing here?

"Becky?" He asked.

She smiled, but it was sad. "Hello, Magnus."

"Magnus?" Alec called. "Who is it?"

Magnus couldn't make his voice work.

What the hell was she doing here?

"Magnus?" Alec called again, and Magnus heard footsteps behind him and felt Alec appear beside him. Alec looked at him concerned. "Magnus, what is it? Are you alright?"

Magnus shook his head, clearing his throat. "Alec, this is Becky Star. Becky, this is Alec Lightwood."

Becky held out her hand, and Alec shook it, cautious of her. Why did she make his boyfriend's face look like that? "A lightwood?" Becky asked.

Alec looked at her. She was thin, and she was wearing jeans a purple t-shirt. Her hair was brown, and long; touching nearly her butt. She was a Warlock, her mark being one dark purple eye, and the other hazel. "That's me," Alec confirmed.

Magnus cleared his throat again. "Sorry, come in." 

Becky chuckled sweetly, and walked in. "So," she chirped. "How are you doing Magnus?"

Magnus nodded, looking nervous. "I'm fine," he said. It sounded forced. 

Becky made a face as if to say 'I know better', but didn't say anything more. 

They made it to the living room, and all three of them sat down on the couch. Magnus felt trapped. Why was she here? Not that he didn't enjoy her presence, of course he did. Ironically, this was one of those who saved his life. Well... more his sanity. He just though of her earlier when Alec had asked about some things.

"What brings you here, Becky?" He asked.

Becky made a sympathetic face, and it looked genuine, so Alec didn't feel threatened. But Magnus was rubbing his hands, a nervous habit Alec had picked up. 

Becky spoke. "I heard about Ragnor," she said.

Magnus blinked. Why was this day tying together so strangely perfect, yet weird at the same time? "Um, yeah."

Alec looked shocked at Magnus. He'd never heard Magnus stutter before. 

Becky leaned forward, elbows resting on her knees. "How are you handling that?"

"What?" Magnus asked. He felt a little bit of anger.

"How are you handling that?"

Magnus scoffed. "I don't know if you know, but Ragnor's death was months ago."

Becky looked guilty. "I know, I know."

"Where were you then?" Magnus asked, voice bitter.

Becky looked really guilty then. "I know, I'm sorry. I got busy."

"Since when are you busy?"

"I'm sorry," was all she said. "I was helping someone."

Magnus scoffed again. "With what?"

Becky made a nervous glance at Alec, before looking back at him. "With what you fear the most."

Magnus stood up then, angry. "Get out," he said with grit teeth. 

"Magnus-"

"No," he interrupted her. "You don't get to talk about this. You don't have any right to bring this up, especially in front of Alexander."

Alec sat there, dumbfounded. "Magnus, what is she talking about?" He was looking between the two, eyebrows furrowed.

Magnus was seething. "Leave," he told her again.

"No," Alec said, standing up then. "Wait, just..." he walked towards Magnus and pulled him to the side, whispering so just Magnus could hear him. "Magnus, what's going on?"

Magnus sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. "This is the one thing I've wanted to avoid ever since I met you." 

Alec pulled Magnus' face gently away from himself. "Look at me," he whispered. "You don't need to hide anything from me, but if this truly makes you uncomfortable, I can leave the room. You don't have to throw her out, she sounds genuinely concerned for you."

Magnus thought about it for a moment, and took a deep breath. "You don't have to leave the room, okay? Just... promise me this won't change how you see me."

Alec didn't know what that meant, but nothing could change how Alec saw him. "I promise," he said.

Magnus took another breath before heading back to the couch. He took a seat. "My apologies," he said to Becky. "Go on," he said, but it was tight in his throat.

Becky sighed. "I am sorry, Magnus. I wasn't here because I found a young girl in an alley, and she was bleeding. She was just a mundane girl, I couldn't leave her there."

Magnus nodded. "I understand."

"I was going to come see you, but every time I left, I found her in the bathroom having a panic attack. I couldn't leave her until I knew she was stable enough."

Magnus nodded again. "I understand," he repeated. "I remember what it was like."

Alec's head whipped around to face him. "What?"

Magnus closed his eyes, controlling his breathing. "Tell him what happened to the girl," he said to Becky.

Becky turned to Alec then, and sighed. "I found a young sixteen year old girl in an alleyway, shivering. She was bleeding down her legs, and I knew what happened to her." She paused, looking at Magnus one more time for confirmation, and continued when he nodded. "She was raped." 

Alec gasped then, and looked back at Magnus, who hid his face in his hands. "Magnus?" He asked, scooted closer to him. "Magnus, look at me," he said. 

Magnus slowly let his face come up, and he looked ashamed. "Alexander, I... I don't know what to say."

"You don't have to say anything, by the Angel," he pulled Magnus into a hug. 

Magnus didn't really know what to do, so he stayed still. He didn't really even hug Alec back; just sat there.

When Alec let go, Magnus asked, "how is the girl?"

"She's better. She doesn't have any family, she was homeless. She still has nightmares, and won't talk about what happened. And you know that's bad." 

Magnus nodded, and Alec was running circles on his shoulders with his finger. "I do," he said. "What's her name?"

"Adriana," Becky replied.

"Are you asking me to speak to her?"

Becky shrugged guiltily. "It would really help me out," she said.

Magnus took a deep breath. "Okay," he said. "I'll meet with her. But not today. I will see her tomorrow. Is she living with you?"

Becky nodded.

Alec was still giving all kinds of comfort to Magnus.

Magnus nodded. "Okay, I'll stop by tomorrow evening. I am sure I can help her."

Becky hugged Magnus. "Thank you," she said. She pulled back. "And I'm sorry," she said. "I'm sorry I barged in here like this."

Magnus shook his head. "It's okay. I was going to tell him at some point, I just didn't think it would be today." He swallowed.

Alec knew they were talking about him. But he didn't care. All he wanted to do was give Magnus all the happiness he deserves.

Becky was making her way to the door, and Magnus didn't see her out. "Bye, Magnus."

Magnus just waved, and heard the door click. She was gone.

It was silent then, and Magnus didn't really know what to do. He just leaned back against the couch, and Alec began running circles on his chest. "Magnus," he said.

Magnus sighed, slowly looking over to Alec's face. "Yes, Alexander?"

"Are you okay?"

Magnus scoffed, but it wasn't bitter. "Not really," he said. "I haven't thought about it for a very long time. And I really don't want to go see Adriana tomorrow and relive it."

Alec licked his lips, unsure of how to word his next sentence. "Do you want to tell me what happened?"

Magnus took a deep breath, and let it go slowly before speaking. "I was dating someone, around the early 1700's. It was a male, and his name was Jarod, he was a warlock. I quiet liked him. I loved him, in fact." 

Alec listened intently, rubbing Magnus' chest as he spoke. 

"I wasn't really that aware of things. I knew what abuse was, and I knew what forcing someone to bed was, I just... couldn't really recognize it. The only other relationship I'd ever really seen was my parents'. And... well... they weren't good.

"Not to mention I was blinded by my love for him. He would tell me a lot that he would never hit me again, or force me into anything if I didn't want it, and I believed him. I was an idiot, and young, and I just... I wasn't thinking. He was my first love.

"One day... he had come home, so enraged that I tried to calm him down but nothing was working. I even tried to leave the house so he could be alone, but he told me I was abandoning him, and I didn't want him to think that way, so I stayed.

"Anyways, his anger just continued to surge with every word that I said until he snapped. He had me on the floor in an instant. I tried to fight back, but his magic was stronger than mine, and he restrained me down to the floor."

Magnus paused, taking a deep breath. "He beat me until I couldn't even remember my own name." His eyes were wandering around the room.

"By the Angel," Alec whispered, now running his thumb along Magnus' cheek.

"Before I knew it..." Magnus stopped, closing his eyes. "Before I knew it, he was all over me." He reopened them, looking straight ahead. "I couldn't make him stop. I asked him to stop, but he just continued to undress ourselves, and I was lost then. I couldn't think, I couldn't... comprehend..."

"Oh, Magnus," Alec breathed out.

"It lasted hours, and when I began bleeding, he left. He just left and he never came back. Hours later I didn't know where to go so I just wandered the streets until I couldn't walk anymore and collapsed in an alleyway. Becky found me and took me in." Magnus' voice was bitter when he spoke his next words. "How's that for a first love?"

Alec didn't know what to say. "I'm so sorry, Magnus... I had no idea..."

"I didn't expect you to. I don't want you too."

"Why?"

"Because I didn't want you to see me differently. I am not broken by it. Or at least, I'm not anymore."

Alec smiled softly. "I still see you as my Magnus." 

Magnus chuckled. "Thanks, Alexander."

Alec chuckled then too, and pulled Magnus in for a kiss. "I love you," he said.

Magnus smiled against Alec's lips. "I love you too."

"Thank you for telling me this," Alec said. "It shows how much you trust me."

Magnus nodded. "I trust you with my life."

"I'm glad," Alec said. 

They stayed silent for a while, just sitting close to one another and feeling each other's breaths. 

Then Magnus broke the silence. "You want to make pancakes?"

Alec laughed. They made pancakes when they were feeling down. "I would love to, Magnus."

They kissed each other one more time before heading to the kitchen.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope this wasn't offending, and I hope it was good. 
> 
> If I have offended you, tell me so I can apologize personally to you.


End file.
